Tag Archives: commitment

Top Ten Reasons for Being Married


“People like lists,” my friend said. “Write a blog with a list.” I love a challenge.

Marriage – Signed & Sealed

It’s summer: wedding season. Why not a list of the top ten reasons for getting married. After all, I’ve been married twice: twenty-seven years the first time, and fourteen years so far in this second one. And I’ve conducted a multitude of weddings overs the years. I believe in marriage.

As you read my list, consider this question about your significant relationship. Why did you get married in the first place? Or   Why have you chosen a common law relationship

Please comment on my list: What, in your opinion, needs to be added, changed or re-prioritized.

 Top Ten Reasons for Being Married.


#10. Being Married simplifies financial records, especially for the small business owner. I own my tiny business, buying and selling my books, but I never thought about it in terms of marriage. My young businessman friend informed me the other day that a common law relationship makes keeping your financial records more complicated than a legal marriage. Paperwork is simpler in a legal marriage.

#9. Financial – Also, he told me organizing benefits is simpler with a legal marriage. The whole financial setup is simpler and clearer.  Just ask any gay or trans- person about the practical benefits of having a government-registered, same sex marriage.

#8. Pleasing Family – Some deny they need to get married, but claim parents really want them to have the ceremony. Marriage is the extra touch to please family and friends. Just watch their faces and experience their joy when you tell them you are getting married.

#7. Celebration – Joy shared multiplies. It’s wonderful to celebrate the happiness you find in each other with family and friends. Life affords no better opportunity for a party, a big party, an extravagant party.

#6. Commitment – Although you can make your own private commitment to each other as you live together, somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind there is always the knowledge that the government’s legal stamp has not been given. If you or your partner find something better, if you or your partner want to give up trying, you or your partner can walk away. You have what in business is called, “A golden parachute’, an escape clause. “Oh no,” you may say, “not us. Those thoughts don’t lurk in our minds.” At bottom, those thoughts do. Saying the words of commitment publicly and signing that marriage license involves a different quality of commitment. Two still exist as one each, but two declared together create much more than the sum of two individuals.

Watch for the other five coming August 7th.  What will be number one? Make your own list. See how it compares.




Success – Wow! I Feel Great!

National Novel Writing Month Winner Certificate

On the first of November I made the commitment to myself and online to write 50,000 words of the sequel to my novel Fireweed in 30 days. Fireweed’s 65,000 words took three years to write. Granted at that time I was working full time. Now I am retired and like many retirees my days are full of family, friends, activities, church, and more. Still I wanted to get this second novel started. I told myself 25,000 words would be a beginning.

I also knew that I wasn’t going to stop my other activities and I didn’t. Tom and I continued to enjoy our dancing twice a week. I spent Wednesdays with granddaughter Ellie and Fridays with granddaughter Vanessa. I went to church, talked with friends, went to yoga and the list goes on.

Tonight I am pleased to announce that “I Did It!” Tonight I submitted my 50,672 words to the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writers Month) Website. My word count was validated. I’m a winner. The novel is not quite finished. The ending isn’t there. I’m thinking it will take another 15000 words. At this point that will be easy. Of course, this is only a first draft. The working title is “One More Step”. That will probably change. There will be four or five more drafts and then the professional editor will begin his/her work. For tonight, I am thrilled.


Angels Are Waiting!

Refugee Camp
Refugee Camp

I love to listen to CBC radio when I’m driving. One Sunday not long ago, Cross Country check-up asked Canadians their opinions on accepting refugees from Syria. An hour before, I had listened to a special news report on the ethical and moral problems faced by peaceful countries like Canada as they consider how to help the wave upon wave of refugees coming out of war torn countries like Syria. I was reminded of the boat people after the Viet Nam war. The 1200 refugees that Canada has promised to receive this time seems just a drop in this ocean of desperate people. Can we do better? Should we do better?

Callers expressed views on both sides of this issue. One phone call, from a former Viet Nam boat person touched my heart. She spoke of her gratitude to her adopted country. She talked of her willingness to work at any job when she arrived. She stated that her children had become highly educated valuable Canadian citizens. She said with pride, “Our country can take many more than 1200.”

Yes, we have fears, fears centering around employment. We believe there aren’t enough jobs for our own people. Yet, last year Canada employed 300,000 people on temporary work permits. There are jobs for refugees in Canada. We need to remember that most of our ancestors were immigrants and refugees. Without them, we would not have been born here

We are called to share our blessings. To sponsor a refugee is work. It requires fundraising to set up a family in this country and care for them until they have become acclimatized and learned the language. And that is only one part of the commitment. Refugee families need support such as friendship, teaching, loving for at least a year and often longer. But there are groups – like churches who are doing it.

Canadians who have been sponsors in the past know that bringing refugees to our country can be wonderful, difficult, fun, and frustrating and always a learning experience. WE KNOW WE CAN DO IT, IF WE CHOOSE.

Keep on loving one another as Christians. Remember to welcome strangers in your homes. There were some who did that and welcomed angels without knowing it. (Hebrew’s 13:1-2)

Being Canadian – a Privilege or a Responsibility?


Every year on Canada Day, we gather family and friends to celebrate the birthday of our oldest grandchild, Vanessa. We laugh and talk, swim in their pool, eat too much, and enjoy the fireworks in the evening. It’s a peaceful time. We know we’re blessed with a wonderful family and in my mind, with being citizens of the best country in the world.

Always the horror, violence, war that comes through the news media seeps into my mind and reminds me that the peace of our Canadian nation is fragile. On June 19, our neighbours to the south were once again struck with the brutality that comes with festering hatred. A young man, just 21, is accused of sitting for an hour in that historic church in Charleston while the people prayed, then opening fire on the innocent people around him,. The story brings tears to my heart. Peace is built on love and acceptance, not hatred and violence.

We would like to think that such horror could not happen in our precious Canada, yet we know that racial prejudice lurks beneath the surface of our calm Canadian veneer. Stories of racial profiling by police, the disappearance of First Nations women, fear of Muslims and more fill our newspapers. More and more people seem to have access to guns, even here in Canada.

Canada Day is a time to make a renewed commitment to the love and acceptance of all people. To follow the “Way of Christ” is to love God and love one another. It is our calling to live and to teach that all people, regardless of race, gender, whatever differences, all people are God’s beloved children. If we fail to live and teach this basic value, the peace and joy of our great land will disintegrate. Living in love and peace is a privilege that entails responsibility.

A friend sent me the following link to an article written by Rev. Christy Thomas of Denton, Texas, in response to the African Methodist Episcopal Church shooting. The article discusses five factors that create hate. It’s worth taking the time to read it.



“For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.”

(I John 3:11)

Do I Dare Make the Commitment?

The last few weeks I have been learning about the generosity and commitment that is the foundation of the village of Keene. Two nights in a row I attended meetings to plan for community events. Altogether, I met nearly twenty people giving of their time, energy and skill to make Keene a better place. Before we moved, my daughter had told me about all the wonderful family events in Keene. Of course, these events don’t just happen. Always, a crew of dedicated volunteers are working behind the scene for any community event.

Knowing and experiencing are two different things. These Keene volunteers were enjoying their work. Each one reported in with work accomplished or started. There were no complaints, weary groans or embarrassing silences as jobs were mentioned. I came home from those meetings grateful for the opportunity to participate.

One of those meetings involved our Keene United Church. Members are planning a variety night fundraiser for improvements to the local school playground. The chair said, “If we sell our 200 tickets at $10 each we’ll only raise $2000. They need $8000 to complete the project. What else can we do to raise the entire $8000?” Ideas surfaced. The choice was made.

These two committees illustrate an important principle in volunteering. Practice joyful giving, joyful commitment. If you’re serving on a committee let go of your fear of not enough time or enough energy. Climb on board with joy and laughter. Give God thanks for the opportunity to serve.

Operate from God’s principle of abundance.

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38)