Tag Archives: attitude

Clothe Yourself in Love

free-valentine-039-s-day-lover-039-s-day-wallpaper_1920x1200_89887

Usually, we connect Valentine’s Day with romance. It’s good to celebrate the love we feel for one another. Valentine’s Day also calls us to love ourselves. Jesus said, the second most important commandment was “Love others as you love yourself.” Psychologists tell us we cannot love others well until we have learned to love ourselves.

Years ago, when I had my counseling business, clients would come who had lost all respect and love for themselves. They saw only their failures – failures on the job, as parents, as a friend, as a lover, or failures in terms of their body size or capabilities. Everything about themselves, as far as they were concerned, was wrong.

In order to help them understand their feelings, we spent time talking about what events and people were a part of their life journey to this point. I would give them homework to help them work on change, on growing their self esteem. One of the exercises asked them to clothe themselves with love every morning by doing the following:

  1. When you look into the bathroom mirror, stop and give yourself a compliment. It could be as simple as saying, “I like the way my hair shines in the sunlight this morning.” Or “My new nail polish makes my fingers look longer and more graceful.” Or “I like my brown eyes. They remind me of yummy chocolate.”
  2. As you step out of the shower, say to yourself, “MMMM I smell good, so fresh and clean.
  3. Do something nice for someone else each day. Afterward tell yourself, “Thank you God for using me to bring goodness to this world.

Those clients who faithfully did their homework were surprised at the change in their attitude towards themselves and others.

This year for Valentine’s Day, I suggest that whether or not you have someone in your life wanting to celebrate you, take some time to love yourself – to love who you are, to love how you look, as God’s special creation. Clothe yourself in love.

Cultivate an Attitude of Forgiveness? Yes!

Cultivate an Attitude of Forgiveness

by Rev. Janet Stobie

Anything to Avoid Forgiveness
Anything to Avoid Forgiveness

I often write about living an attitude of gratitude but this morning my daily reading reminded me to think about an attitude of forgiveness. “I want to forgive him,” my friend said, tears slipping down her face, but I can’t. I’m trying though.

What keeps us from forgiveness?

  • If the hurt is old, it often becomes a comfortable friend, something to depend on. After all we’re used to it. We’ve been angry and hurt a long time. How will we cope without it.
  • Will offering forgiveness mean my hurt doesn’t matter? That’s what it feels like. Or maybe I’ll be condoning the other’s behavior.
  • In order to forgive him I’ll have to forgive me for my part in this fiasco.

What will forgiveness accomplish?

  • Possibly a mended relationship, but not necessarily. Just because we offer the gift of forgiveness does not mean it will be received.
  • Peace in my own heart. Since the hurt cannot be undone, forgiveness will enable me to let go of it. Whether or not my effort is accepted, my load will be lighter. I will no longer need to waste energy keeping my anger fueled. I can turn my heart to better pursuits.
  • Forgiving another will open my heart to God’s forgiveness of me.
  • Offering forgiveness initiates a ripple of peace and love in the world.

How often do we forgive?

  • Jesus said, “Seventy times seven”.  That means forgive often. Sometimes we have to forgive the same hurt many times, as we journey to a point that forgiveness has truly entered our hearts. In fact, we need to cultivate an attitude of forgiveness every day.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

(Luke 23:34)