Tag Archives: Love

It’s Not Our Call

As seniors, we hope we have learned a few things about life. Most of the time these learnings have come to us the hard way. Our wisdom is precious. we would like to share it and save our children and grandchildren from going through the same trial and error process that we did.

Occasionally, the urge to offer advice becomes overwhelming for me. Still, I know it’s not my call. When advice is requested, I can share my knowledge. Otherwise, my call is to give support and pray. Fulfilling that role requires patience, trust and even courage.

As Easter approaches, I’m thinking about Jesus’ mother. When Jesus headed for Jerusalem that last time, I can only imagine the worry and possibly anger his family experienced. They would have wanted him to stay in Galilee where he was relatively safe. Still it wasn’t their call. Even after his resurrection, I’m sure there would be some friends that still vibrated from the pain and yes, anger with Jesus. If he had only stayed home. If he had only listened to me. Their feelings may have even got in the way of fully experiencing the joy of his resurrection.

For me, one of the resurrection messages for parents, grandparents, friends and family is:  it’s not our call to totally protect our children or any of our loved ones. Like Jesus, they have to make their own choices. The wonder of the resurrection is that we can have patience trust and courage, because we know that God’s miracle of love for them will be far better than anything our precious knowledge can do. In the end they too will have new life.

Love Is the Key


The movie “A Wrinkle in Time” opens in theatres next month. A passage from the book has been with me for many years. This children/adult fantasy is the story of Meg’s journey to seek and rescue her little brother Charles Wallace. Three creatures, Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who & Mrs. Which, give her gifts to help. In the following passage all Meg knows about Mrs. Which’s gift is that Meg has something that the evil “It” has not. When she finds her brother, “It” has invaded him. She feels “It’s” power attempting to overtake her mind as well.

“Her body trembled with the strength of her hatred and the strength of It…Hate was nothing that IT didn’t have. IT knew all about hate… “Mrs. Whatsit hates you,” Charles Wallace said.
And that was where IT made it’s fatal mistake, for as Meg said, automatically, “Mrs. Whatsit loves me, that’s what she told me, that she loves me,” suddenly she knew! Love. That was what she had that IT did not have. She had Mrs. Whatsit’s love, and her father’s, and her mother’s and the real Charles Wallace’s love, and the twins’ and Aunt Beast’s. And she had love for them.
But how could she use it? What was she meant to do? If she could give love to It, perhaps It would shrivel up and die, for she was sure that IT could not withstand love. But she, in all her weakness and foolishness and baseness and nothingness was incapable of loving IT…she could not do it.
But she could love Charles Wallace…her own Charles Wallace, the real Charles Wallace…the baby who was so much more than she was, and who was yet so utterly vulnerable. She could love Charles Wallace.
Charles, I love you. My baby brother who always takes care of me. Come back to me, Charles Wallace, come away from IT, come back, come home. I love you, Charles Wallace…”

Love is the key, the key to world peace and to environmental degradation. When we learn to use it wisely and with passion, we can change the world.

Your Love Footprint

Today we talk a great deal about shrinking our “carbon footprint.” Advertising, education, news reports, books, magazines, and other people have all had a part in raising my consciousness on environmental issues. I have soaked in enough warnings about not polluting our environment that I find it difficult to casually throw away a plastic milk bag, run the water tap longer than necessary, and much more. Like many, I am taking steps to decrease my carbon footprint.

The words of St. Paul in his Biblical letter to the Corinthians have raised my consciousness on another issue. St. Paul says, “Do all things in Love.” Five very important little words.

Traditionally, on St. Valentine’s Day we speak words of love to those who are near and dear to us. We buy or make gifts as symbols of that love. Some of us arrange a special dinner out. The goal is to do or say something you think will bring happiness.

This year, on St.  Valentine’s Day, I suggest we carry our words and actions of love one giant step further. Let’s grow our love footprint.  Try doing what St. Paul suggests, “Do everything, absolutely everything in Love.

As you make your bed in the morning, rest your mind with love on the people who sleep in it. Include yourself. As you stack dishes in the dish washer, rest your mind with love on the people who have shared the meal with you. Remember the farmers. As you drive to work, rest your mind with love on the people who maintain the roads. At work or at school, rest your mind with love on those in charge, no matter how irritating they might be. Offer a prayer of thanks for these people, for the blessing they have brought into your life.

It’s so easy to live our busy lives without love for the unseen people who contribute to our well being. “Do everything in love,” says St. Paul. Jesus said, Love your neighbour. This Valentine’s Day let us begin a whole life lived in love. Let’s grow our love footprint.

George, My Friendly Icon for 2018

My friend George

The Christmas season is over. We’ve said good-bye to wishing strangers Merry Christmas. Spontaneous generosity is tucked away with the decorations for another year. For some of us, we’ve made our yearly pilgrimage to church for the Christmas Eve service. No need to go again ’til next Christmas.

Does it have to be over? Do we have to let go of that Christmas Spirit? That’s a familiar lament. As I wrote these words, I looked up to see the quizzical face of George the Giraffe peering back at me.

George the giraffe came, as a special gift of love last summer. Every time I look at him, I think of my son, Dave, our daughter-in-law, Joanne and our granddaughter, Jenna. I hear their words to me as they handed me the package.” When you came to visit us in South Africa, we went on safari. You wanted to see the giraffes. When we returned, you were fascinated with the beaded giraffes made by the African people. Instead of getting one for yourself, you bought one for Vanessa. We decided you needed a giraffe, too.” They handed me George. He’s adorable. With his face full of curiosity, George is my precious reminder of the love of this part of our family living far away in South Africa.

Christians over the centuries have used icons – images, things and even people, sometimes – that help us remember God is the source of everything and that God loves and accepts us just as we are. That’s what the Christmas tree, the songs, the decorations, do for us. They remind us of our Christian story, and Jesus’ lessons of love and forgiveness. This year, I’ve decided that George the giraffe, with his rainbow coloured beads, his big ears that stick straight out, and his long neck and legs, will be my icon to help me remember to live God’s Christmas Spirit all year long. I see George every time I sit down with my computer on my knees. Every time I walk past the living room and see George, peering at me with his quizzical expression I will think of God’s call to love and forgive others as God loves and forgives me.

As you start another year, I suggest you identify something in your home that is connected to love, something that you see every day. It could be a family heirloom (Mom’s china cabinet, Grandpa’s favorite chair), a gift you’ve received (a painting, a bowl, a knick knack). Choose something to remind you daily of the many blessings you have received, something to trigger words of thanks for your abundance, something that brings to your heart a response of love. That icon can help you keep God’s loving Spirit that thrives at Christmas time, with you all year long. You see, we don’t intend to pack away our love and acceptance, our joy in living with the Christmas decorations. We lose our Christmas Spirit in the busyness, the sadness, the craziness of everyday living. Let your icon be the reminder you need for 2018.

Happy New Year!!!!

Another year, another 365 days to  fill with laughter, kindness, generosity, gratitude and love. May you recognize the abundance of God’s blessings surrounding you. May you be a blessing to everyone you meet. Regardless of what comes your way in 2018, may you know the joy and love that comes with compassion, kindness and generosity. God bless you all. Janet

I Love My Body!

I woke Sunday morning at 5:55. My alarm was set for six. My first thought, I love my body. God has gifted me with an inner alarm. I usually don’t trust it so I set my clock alarm, but I don’t have to. I automatically wake up just before the alarm rings. Tom appreciates my gift, too, especially on days when he doesn’t have to be up early.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember ever before thinking, I love my body. Usually, I look at my body and groan. Twenty pounds lighter would make my knees much happier and my clothes look better. I’ve got love handles, and a tummy that is rounder than it should be. My ankles are slightly swollen. My skin is dry. I’ve got lots of wrinkles. Those miserable brown age spots keep popping up here and there. Yes, normally I’m not at all happy with my body. And I don’t think I’m alone in this world.

Our society has taught us to be dissatisfied with our bodies. Watch your weight. Don’t eat too much. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise. Try this diet. No, try that one. If you want to be beautiful, you have to be thin. And so, the messages come at us, fast and furious.

My daughter is a child psychologist. She speaks a different message. “Learn to love your body as it is,” she says. So today, I suggest, appreciate the wonder of your body. Across from me is a vase filled with majestic, brightly coloured gladioli. On the windowsill, are delicate sweet peas. I can see their beauty and smell their sweet fragrance. At night as I go to sleep, I hear Tom whisper, “I love you.” I wake up, and I can still walk. My arms can reach out to hug my fabulous granddaughter.  And those are only a few of the wonders of my body. There is a children’s song titled “Oh, What a Miracle Am I.” It’s time we all tried chanting that line.

Yes, I can love my body even though it’s aging. I have decided to repeat those beautiful words, I love my body, every day as I get up. And give God thanks. What better way to start my day.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).

How Does God Deal with Our Choices for Evil

When a child dies. A well-intentioned friend sometimes offers comfort to the grieving parents with, “God needed your child in heaven.” A natural disaster, or strange misfortune is greeted with, “God must have had a reason.”

The Bible story of Joseph, the favored child, is often cited as the basis of this kind of thinking. Joseph’s older brothers, in their anger and jealousy, sold him to merchants travelling to Egypt. They told their father that Joseph had been killed by a wild beast. Years later, his brothers, come to Egypt as refugees from famine. They meet Joseph as the prime minister, who now has the power to save his family from starvation. Joseph explains, “It was not you who sent me here (to Egypt), but God.” (Genesis 45:8).

THIS MAY COMFORT SOME PEOPLE, BUT NOT ME. The loving God I have encountered in my life and in the Bible stories of Jesus, tells me a different story. Our God given gift of free will means we can make good choices to love and care for each other and we can use our free will in anger and jealousy, as Joseph’s brothers did. Our loving God is never defeated by our choices. God has the power to bring goodness out of the worst we can do, BUT God does NOT need us to do bad things or to experience misery to accomplish goodness.

I believe Joseph had the position and therefore the power to rescue his brothers, because our loving God worked with Joseph to use his intelligence, his location and his faith to prepare him to forgive and help his family. God brought new life, amazing new life out of Joseph’s brother’s evil choices, just as God brought the resurrection out of our choice to crucify Jesus.

Some people would say this is just a matter of semantics, playing with words. I don’t agree. I believe that God’s love can take the worst that we can do, and the worst that can happen, and create goodness. But God doesn’t need us to make evil choices or experience painful things in order to create that goodness.

With this mind-set, we are not puppets in the hands of a capricious, often vengeful God, who requires war and death, evil and violence to accomplish goodness. No! No! No! With this mindset, we have freedom to make choices, good choices of love and care, poor choices, and sometimes even choices for evil. God can draw from within the results of our choices, even at our worst, the means to create goodness.

For me this applies to our resurrection story. My theology of Jesus tells me that he loved us so much that he wouldn’t stop loving us even when we were at our worst. God used that endless, generous love to bring the lesson of forgiveness and resurrection, NEW LIFE, not just for Jesus but for all of us.

When we trust in a loving God, when we open our hearts to that love, we will eventually see and experience that goodness. In fact, God invites us to participate in the creation of that goodness.

For this understanding of God, I give God thanks.

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Top Ten Reasons for Getting Married – Part 2

 

Top Ten Reasons for Getting Married – Part 2

My first marriage ended in divorce, in my mind, mostly because neither I nor my first husband clearly understood these last five reasons for getting married. Tom and I have just celebrated our 14th anniversary.  The glow, the honeymoon, the joy, the companionship, all are shining just as brightly as they did June 21, 2003. I believe we have this solid relationship because we both accept these last five reasons. God is with us, and, thank God, we are together.

#5. Support – At the Christian marriage ceremony, family and friends pledge their support, at least with prayer. The power of prayer to aid physical and mental healing has been scientifically proven. In this modern society, relationships need all the help we can find. A host of prayers from family and friends can be a wonderful resource, even if you yourself don’t believe in it.

#4. Wedding Vows – Traditional wedding vows speak of sticking together, loving each other in sickness and in health. For young people, that doesn’t seem important. As we age and our body begins to deteriorate, this particular vow takes on a much stronger significance. Hanging in there in health is simple, easy. In sickness, it requires a depth of love and commitment that is much harder to achieve without marriage.

#3. Wedding Vows  To love and to cherish. The words I love you can roll easily off our lips, just as we love ice caps, and rugby. To continue to “cherish,” year after year, requires help, God’s help. It’s easy to take your partner for granted. When I had my marriage counselling business, one of my first questions for troubled couples was to ask them to write down what attracted them to one another in the first place. Sometimes, that one thing had become what aggravates them the most. Often, this discovery brought laughter. Returning to the roots of our love can make a difference. One couple I married memorized their wedding vows. When tempers flared and wars started, it was the job of whoever remembered first, to begin reciting their marriage vows, and the job of the partner to join in. Always, that seemed to bring calm, peace, and a desire for understanding into the troubled situation.

Your public profession of love and commitment made before your family and friends, sealed by the signing of a legal document is a powerful act. A private statement, a vow in a common law relationship, or a drifting together only through circumstance command no explanation if blown away.

For these last two, I go to the Bible because, of course, I think in terms of Christian Marriage.

  1. The Bible offers the ideal of love that we strive for in marriage. In 1 Corinthians 13 – St. Paul’s chapter about love, we find clear instructions for a loving and lasting relationship. When both members of a couple make the commitment before God and human witnesses to do their best to follow the teaching in Paul’s letter, I believe that God is with them helping them to cherish one another.

 

1 Corinthians 13 (GNT) Love

13 I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains—but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned[a]—but if I have no love, this does me no good.

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; 10 but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.

11 When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. 12 What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete—as complete as God’s knowledge of me.

13 Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love.

 

And #1. My number one reason for getting married is that you grow up together, and you grow old together. You make a life time commitment legally, emotionally, and faithfully. When you are married you form a three stranded rope, you, your partner and God. Just as the Bible tells on in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

 Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. 10 If one of them falls down, the other can help him up. But if someone is alone and falls, it’s just too bad, because there is no one to help him. 11 If it is cold, two can sleep together and stay warm, but how can you keep warm by yourself 12 Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone. A rope made of three cords is hard to break.”

For me the last sentence in this Biblical passage is particularly significant. “A rope made of three cords is hard to break.” When it comes to a marriage relationship that third strand for me is “God with us.” When we acknowledge God as part of our relationship, which we do in Christian marriage, we bring our faith with us into marriage. We know that we can seek God’s help through prayer together. It’s the knowledge of God’s presence and power with us that can make the difference.

Each night, Tom and I say, “thank you God, for bringing us together.” We say that with honesty and joy. We believe that God played a part in our finding each other. And we are truly grateful.

 

 

 

Spiritual But Not Religious?

 

In our country today, there is a large group of people who declare that they are “spiritual but not religious”.

Over the last few years, I have endeavoured to understand  this category.  When I question those who are spiritual but not religious, they tell me that they do believe in a power, a source of all that is, that is bigger than anything we humans can muster.  They add that they are just not interested in attending church or following any religious traditions. They also tell me that they certainly believe in caring for others. I know that to be true because I have experienced them as generous, caring, loving responsible citizens.

As we continued to talk,  I have learned that the spiritually but not religious, feel they might need the church for weddings, and maybe funerals.  Often they enjoy yoga, or pickle ball, or musical presentations, or quilting or other activities that are held in the church, Occasionally, they end up volunteering in a church sponsored program like the local food bank, or children’s program. My conclusion has been that those who are spiritual and not religious usually see the church building, minister and congregation minister as useful.

This morning, I’m aware that this assumption that the church, supported and manned by other people, will continue to be there even unto the end of the age, may one day be false. As Christians we know that our precious church family, requires our time, our commitment, our gifts. We know God is the foundation of our church family, and yet God is not limited to churches. God already works all over the earth. As our population ages, church workers are becoming fewer and fewer. Without the help of the broader community, your local huch may disappear, as many have over the last few years.

Therefore, if the spiritual but not religious want the presence of “the church” in their community, now is the time to help, with their, time, talents and even their dollars.

Our God is a God of relationships. Jesus gathered a group of friends around him. He was not a solitary person. He knew the support, and joy that comes when a purpose is shared, when we weep together, and when we celebrate together. We, Spiritual and religious people know from experience that we don’t want to miss out on all the advantages of our religious community. So once again we offer an invitation, “Come, join our communities spread throughout this beautiful world. Come. We want you with us. We need you with us. We will share all that we have and all that we are as church communities. We are ready to receive you. Together we can offer love, caring, life cycle rituals, spirituality. Our faith is not meant to turn you away. Together we believe that God, the Creator, that great power of new life, is will us. We are not alone. Thanks be to God.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken….”

 

How can we conquer hate?

Finally, I have a post to offer. I do apologize for the lack of regularity. I am working on one for Mother’s Day. My plan is to get back to once a week.  I send my concern and caring go out to any of you who are battling the rising water.  We had a few minutes of sun this morning, for which I am truly grateful. Blessings to you all. Janet

How Can We Conquer Hate?

On my birthday, I woke up grateful for my life. In response, I wrote the following little poem: Show me what I am God, The gifts that make me, me. Show me what I am God. My gifts all come from thee.

Lead me in your Grace, God; To share and bring great joy, To be your blessing for each day, To man and woman, girl and boy.

Since Sunday, my daily readings have encouraged me to repeat that little prayer poem, no matter what happens. One of those readings by Madeline L’Engle on the birth of Jesus offered me the following piece of wisdom: “Only the absurdity of love can break the bonds of hate.”

Putting these two together, I have decided that the best way to bring peace into our chaotic world is to fill our world so full of love that there is no longer any room for hate. What a wonderful goal. Of course, it means we must co-operate. We could never achieve such a goal alone. I offer the following prayer:

Loving and forgiving God, I offer my love to the world. Gather my love, and the love offered by others to surround and fill the leaders of this world.

Loving and creating God, I know it’s not too late. My dream is that you will use our gathered love to fill this troubled world so full of love that there is no room for hate. Amen

St. Paul tells us: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people…(Galatians 6:9-10)