Tag Archives: Love

Top Ten Reasons for Getting Married – Part 2

 

Top Ten Reasons for Getting Married – Part 2

My first marriage ended in divorce, in my mind, mostly because neither I nor my first husband clearly understood these last five reasons for getting married. Tom and I have just celebrated our 14th anniversary.  The glow, the honeymoon, the joy, the companionship, all are shining just as brightly as they did June 21, 2003. I believe we have this solid relationship because we both accept these last five reasons. God is with us, and, thank God, we are together.

#5. Support – At the Christian marriage ceremony, family and friends pledge their support, at least with prayer. The power of prayer to aid physical and mental healing has been scientifically proven. In this modern society, relationships need all the help we can find. A host of prayers from family and friends can be a wonderful resource, even if you yourself don’t believe in it.

#4. Wedding Vows – Traditional wedding vows speak of sticking together, loving each other in sickness and in health. For young people, that doesn’t seem important. As we age and our body begins to deteriorate, this particular vow takes on a much stronger significance. Hanging in there in health is simple, easy. In sickness, it requires a depth of love and commitment that is much harder to achieve without marriage.

#3. Wedding Vows  To love and to cherish. The words I love you can roll easily off our lips, just as we love ice caps, and rugby. To continue to “cherish,” year after year, requires help, God’s help. It’s easy to take your partner for granted. When I had my marriage counselling business, one of my first questions for troubled couples was to ask them to write down what attracted them to one another in the first place. Sometimes, that one thing had become what aggravates them the most. Often, this discovery brought laughter. Returning to the roots of our love can make a difference. One couple I married memorized their wedding vows. When tempers flared and wars started, it was the job of whoever remembered first, to begin reciting their marriage vows, and the job of the partner to join in. Always, that seemed to bring calm, peace, and a desire for understanding into the troubled situation.

Your public profession of love and commitment made before your family and friends, sealed by the signing of a legal document is a powerful act. A private statement, a vow in a common law relationship, or a drifting together only through circumstance command no explanation if blown away.

For these last two, I go to the Bible because, of course, I think in terms of Christian Marriage.

  1. The Bible offers the ideal of love that we strive for in marriage. In 1 Corinthians 13 – St. Paul’s chapter about love, we find clear instructions for a loving and lasting relationship. When both members of a couple make the commitment before God and human witnesses to do their best to follow the teaching in Paul’s letter, I believe that God is with them helping them to cherish one another.

 

1 Corinthians 13 (GNT) Love

13 I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains—but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned[a]—but if I have no love, this does me no good.

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; 10 but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.

11 When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. 12 What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete—as complete as God’s knowledge of me.

13 Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love.

 

And #1. My number one reason for getting married is that you grow up together, and you grow old together. You make a life time commitment legally, emotionally, and faithfully. When you are married you form a three stranded rope, you, your partner and God. Just as the Bible tells on in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

 Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. 10 If one of them falls down, the other can help him up. But if someone is alone and falls, it’s just too bad, because there is no one to help him. 11 If it is cold, two can sleep together and stay warm, but how can you keep warm by yourself 12 Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone. A rope made of three cords is hard to break.”

For me the last sentence in this Biblical passage is particularly significant. “A rope made of three cords is hard to break.” When it comes to a marriage relationship that third strand for me is “God with us.” When we acknowledge God as part of our relationship, which we do in Christian marriage, we bring our faith with us into marriage. We know that we can seek God’s help through prayer together. It’s the knowledge of God’s presence and power with us that can make the difference.

Each night, Tom and I say, “thank you God, for bringing us together.” We say that with honesty and joy. We believe that God played a part in our finding each other. And we are truly grateful.

 

 

 

Spiritual But Not Religious?

 

In our country today, there is a large group of people who declare that they are “spiritual but not religious”.

Over the last few years, I have endeavoured to understand  this category.  When I question those who are spiritual but not religious, they tell me that they do believe in a power, a source of all that is, that is bigger than anything we humans can muster.  They add that they are just not interested in attending church or following any religious traditions. They also tell me that they certainly believe in caring for others. I know that to be true because I have experienced them as generous, caring, loving responsible citizens.

As we continued to talk,  I have learned that the spiritually but not religious, feel they might need the church for weddings, and maybe funerals.  Often they enjoy yoga, or pickle ball, or musical presentations, or quilting or other activities that are held in the church, Occasionally, they end up volunteering in a church sponsored program like the local food bank, or children’s program. My conclusion has been that those who are spiritual and not religious usually see the church building, minister and congregation minister as useful.

This morning, I’m aware that this assumption that the church, supported and manned by other people, will continue to be there even unto the end of the age, may one day be false. As Christians we know that our precious church family, requires our time, our commitment, our gifts. We know God is the foundation of our church family, and yet God is not limited to churches. God already works all over the earth. As our population ages, church workers are becoming fewer and fewer. Without the help of the broader community, your local huch may disappear, as many have over the last few years.

Therefore, if the spiritual but not religious want the presence of “the church” in their community, now is the time to help, with their, time, talents and even their dollars.

Our God is a God of relationships. Jesus gathered a group of friends around him. He was not a solitary person. He knew the support, and joy that comes when a purpose is shared, when we weep together, and when we celebrate together. We, Spiritual and religious people know from experience that we don’t want to miss out on all the advantages of our religious community. So once again we offer an invitation, “Come, join our communities spread throughout this beautiful world. Come. We want you with us. We need you with us. We will share all that we have and all that we are as church communities. We are ready to receive you. Together we can offer love, caring, life cycle rituals, spirituality. Our faith is not meant to turn you away. Together we believe that God, the Creator, that great power of new life, is will us. We are not alone. Thanks be to God.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken….”

 

How can we conquer hate?

Finally, I have a post to offer. I do apologize for the lack of regularity. I am working on one for Mother’s Day. My plan is to get back to once a week.  I send my concern and caring go out to any of you who are battling the rising water.  We had a few minutes of sun this morning, for which I am truly grateful. Blessings to you all. Janet

How Can We Conquer Hate?

On my birthday, I woke up grateful for my life. In response, I wrote the following little poem: Show me what I am God, The gifts that make me, me. Show me what I am God. My gifts all come from thee.

Lead me in your Grace, God; To share and bring great joy, To be your blessing for each day, To man and woman, girl and boy.

Since Sunday, my daily readings have encouraged me to repeat that little prayer poem, no matter what happens. One of those readings by Madeline L’Engle on the birth of Jesus offered me the following piece of wisdom: “Only the absurdity of love can break the bonds of hate.”

Putting these two together, I have decided that the best way to bring peace into our chaotic world is to fill our world so full of love that there is no longer any room for hate. What a wonderful goal. Of course, it means we must co-operate. We could never achieve such a goal alone. I offer the following prayer:

Loving and forgiving God, I offer my love to the world. Gather my love, and the love offered by others to surround and fill the leaders of this world.

Loving and creating God, I know it’s not too late. My dream is that you will use our gathered love to fill this troubled world so full of love that there is no room for hate. Amen

St. Paul tells us: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people…(Galatians 6:9-10)

Love Can Win!

 

Above the front door of our home hangs a simple plaque, a wedding gift from friends. At the time of our wedding, I hardly knew these people, but Tom did. They are ‘sort of’ family – cousins of a cousin. They travelled all the way from Massachusetts to our wedding celebration. Although they are people of deep faith, I am sure they were not aware at the time that they were bringing Tom and me God’s inspiration for our lives.

“May the love that surrounds you today give you the strength to face your tomorrows.” For nearly fourteen years we have experienced the Truth and Grace of that blessing.

Today is Good Friday. This morning I sat down in my favorite chair to pray, to reflect on this day in our Easter story. The sun blazed through our living room window, filling my soul with God’s light and warmth. The scripture readings presented the horror of Jesus’ crucifixion in vivid detail. I couldn’t avoid the cruelty. I didn’t want to feel the pain. Yet as I read, I could think only of the plague of torture, cruelty, greed, violence that seems to be sucking up the goodness in this world as quickly as it is created. Calvary happens over and over again. Family violence, workplace abuse, residential schools, war, cruel dictatorships. Yes, Jesus’ crucifixion happens somewhere every day.

Last night our house overflowed with love. Our daughter, two of her grandchildren and two of our most cherished friends enjoyed food, conversation, memories, hugs. Each one of us was truly surrounded with God’s love. This morning as I think about Jesus, Good Friday, and our world, I am drawing on last night’s love, on the love that God has showered upon us as a family. With that love as my foundation, I have the strength to face the supreme cruelty of humankind. I can give thanks for God’s endless love shown to us through Jesus’ forgiveness from the cross. That love gives me the strength to offer myself in the struggle for goodness and peace.

I read our plaque as I step through our door, and know God’s love has given me hope for tomorrow.

Winter’s Last Gasp!

In Peterborough this morning, we woke to blowing snow, the ground once again wrapped in its wintry blanket. My mind went to my daughter and granddaughter on the highway to York University in Toronto, to her last hockey games of the season. I am grateful they have snow tires on the car and Connie has lots of experience with winter driving. I sent them a text. Take your time, I’m praying for you.

We thought spring had arrived. Although it’s been chilly, especially at night, the rains were waking up the world. The grass, once again, was gaining the green of new life. And now, this. I don’t want it. I trust it won’t last long.

I’ve been thinking about our world today. Up until last year, it felt as if our world had finally started on a journey toward peace and love. Oh yes, the war was producing refugees by the millions, but as human beings we were finally responding with love. Violence and hunger still prevailed, yet the world seemed to care. More people were sharing. It seemed as if the green of new life was finally springing forth in our troubled world.

And then fear began to rear its ugly head. We see isolationism and prejudice becoming national policy in some western countries. Is this fear’s last gasp in God’s beautiful world? God has given us the skills we need to teach love and harmony. We have experienced the joy of caring for one another. As Easter approaches we are reminded that nothing, not the worst we can do as human beings, can defeat God’s drive for new life.

This morning I am praying that we can open our hearts to God’s guidance so that we won’t hide our light under a bushel. God grant us the courage and the wisdom to use what we have learned on this journey towards peace. We have the skills. We can do it. God’s new life will not be defeated. Peace will come to our world.

There shall be showers of blessings.

When I sat down to write this article, my eyes were drawn to the front window. I looked through a sprightly bouquet of tulips and iris, flowers brought by friends. “A touch of spring,” she said when she handed them to me last week. Past the tulips, I saw the leaden winter sky setting free snow that filtered down to thicken the blanket that already covers our yard. More snow, I thought, yuk. My eyes slipped back to the tulips lifting their blooms toward the window. I smiled. Thank you God for this touch of new life, a bright spot in my day. Thank you God for friends.

A little earlier that morning, I had driven our granddaughter to high school. Her happy smile greeted me as she ran down the steps and opened the car door. On the way to school, I told her that I had kissed Grandpa’s sleepy forehead and reminded him that it was his turn tomorrow. We laughed. Her eyes alight with fun she teased, “Guess I was up before you two. I was making porridge at six o’clock this morning.”  My thought was, Oh, how I love you. Thank you God for our Ellie. She is always a bright spot in our day.

Two gifts from God rest in my heart, blessings for this day.  In winter, I can easily overlook  blessings. So often I throw on my coat, leave it unzipped and ignore my hat and mitts left behind waiting on the cedar chest at the door. Once outside, I shudder and repeat my mantra to God, “I hate winter.”

Today, as I run my errands, I will snuggle into my long-johns and down-filled parka, pull my wild striped hat down over my ears and my warm cuddly mitts over my arthritic fingers. I don’t want to be distracted by the cold and discomfort. I want my soul open to more of those blessings that God has prepared for me.

I recommend we all endeavor to bring this attitude to our lives all year long. Whether it’s the weather that is uncomfortable, or our lives that have been tainted with misery, let’s do what we can to alleviate its effects. We can set our hearts and souls free to receive the love God offers us each day. Let’s notice, accept, smile and give thanks.

There shall be showers of blessing:
This is the promise of love;
There shall be seasons refreshing,
Sent from the Savior above.

Lyrics by Daniel W. Whittle 1883

 

A Sick Day

When we are sick, we feel old and hard done by.

Last night the left-overs tasted scrumptious. Very early this morning, they had lost their dazzle. The misery attacked Tom first and hardest. He eats more. I awoke to a thud. On his return to bed he had felt woozy and had fallen. I helped him up. He was soaking wet with sweat. “Have you any pain around your heart,” I asked, terrified of a heart attack.

“No,” he replied, “just weak and nauseous.” I mopped him down. Within half an hour I was in the same state with a much milder dose. We decided it was the curry. We ate it the first night. But, our body refused a second dose. Tom slept till noon today. I offered him water and plain rice with salt. He ate and drank gratefully and slept some more. By supper time tonight he seemed fine. He ate as usual.

Sleep and Supper – Good Medicine

The Lesedi Cultural Village is on hold. Maybe even until 2019 when we return for Jenna’s graduation. We do have two more full days here. We’ll see what comes.

As for adding to the world’s light today, there was joy for me in being able to care for my beloved Tom. I was grateful my mild dose slipped by quickly. I am grateful we are with family who care deeply about us. I am grateful Tom is feeling better. Thank you God. I offer that thanksgiving to the world.

Welcome to Our Home!

Dave, Jo, & Jenna’s Garden 1
Garden 2
Hibiscus Tree

Before supper we went with Joanne to walk the dogs in a nearby park. The birds here are exquisite and different. The brown ones looked very plain walking on the ground. When we got close they took flight revealing white wings bordered with black. Their call sounds like a squeaky toy. The tiny red weaver one comes in yellow two. They build their nests in the trees. We saw a neat looking duck with a white face and red tuft on his head. The little pond also was home for a family of Egyptian geese.

Duck
Squeaker in Flight
Family of Squeakers
Weaver
Weaver Nests
Mom & baby Egyptian Geese
Daddy Egyptian Goose with duck friend

Supper last night was scrumptious. We sat at a high table out on the porch. We are being bathed in love by Dave, Joanne and Jenna. Joanne offered me the ultimate in hospitality when she asked me if I’d like to bless the meal. Although they do not claim Christianity, they live the “Way” of Christ. They are loving and accepting of all people – and they of course live among God’s infinite variety. They care for people and animals with a deep passion. As a family they volunteer in orphanages and animal shelters. Part of living that acceptance and love was Joanne’s willingness to welcome my commitment to living my faith.

For sure, her gesture added was giant gift of love that has made a positive difference throughout the world.

 

 

 

 

What does it mean to call yourself a “Christian”?

This morning, I read we are called to be Christs in the world, not Christian. (Madeline L’Engle). Today Madeline’s words spoke to me like thunder and lightning in the darkness of the night. Too often, I hear about “Christians” speaking words of hate and taking actions that are violent, disrespectful, harmful, destructive of other human beings. Over my lifetime, I have learned to love, respect, accept and forgive others, regardless of faith, race, ethnicity, wealth or lack of it. For me, that is the calling of a Christian.

I hear “Christians” quote John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son that whosever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” and smugly say, “I’m in; you’re out.” I hear those same Christians quote John 14: 6, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father but through me.” and say, “You don’t believe exactly as I do, therefore God doesn’t love you or care about you. You are a sinner.” From this self-righteous judgment, it is a very short step to fearing those sinners, condemning those sinners and trying to eradicate those sinners from God’s world.

If that is how “Christianity” works, count me out. My faith and those scripture passages have taught me some very important lessons:

  1. God loves God’s world, the whole world, not just the people that I judge worthy.
  1. God loved every person God created so much that God came in Jesus and endured the hatred, the violence that we seem to love so much, and laid down his human life in love, to teach us what love is. God did this, not because I’ve said some special words, or experienced God’s Spirit in one particular way. God did this because I am God’s child and always will be.
  1. I am humbled to think that Jesus loved me enough to come to this world to teach me how to be his “hands, and feet and heart,” and love the world as he did.
  1. When I hear Jesus words, “I am the Way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” I hear Jesus’ call to love, value, respect all of God’s children. I hear Jesus’ call to love God and love others as he has loved me.
  1. Neither of these scripture passages call me to hatred, fear, violence. Jesus’ Way, Truth, Life was to heal, love, forgive not to destroy.
  1. As a follower of Jesus, I am called to be the hands, feet and heart of Christ.

I feel as if the word “Christian” has been desecrated. I need a new name, a new identity. Let’s find a new word, a new way to identify ourselves as followers of Jesus.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  (John 13:34 NIV)

Help!

Can I Forgive?
Help!!

Harassment,
Pain
The guilt is endless
Relentless
I want desperately to help
I am dying.

I’ve tried escape.
His voice comes everywhere.

God says, “It’s time.
Give him to me.
It’s my turn.”

How Lord? How?
He has no one.
Only me.

You entrusted him to me.
I can’t close the door.
I can’t walk away.
He won’t let me
I can’t let me.

God says, “It’s time
Give him to me.
It’s my turn
Your work is done
I gave you love
Acceptance, loyalty,
Honesty, determination.
Holiness
You’ve used them all.”

God says, “It’s time.
Give him to me.
It’s my turn.”
Your work is done.
The foundation is laid.
Trust in me.”

God says, “Whatever happens.
He is my precious child
And I love him.”